Birth order dating relationships. How birth order affects your marriage | focus on the family
If you are a firstborn, you were the family guinea pig for parenting techniques. They crave details and are often critical of themselves and others. Stuck in the middle, you learned how to negotiate peace between warring siblings.
Why you are the way you are
Provide plenty of space for outside friendships, but don't forget the most important relationship — the two of you. With the spotlight of parental expectations on you, is it any wonder you're a perfectionist? Focus on serving each other, and always laugh together.
But understanding the basics provides clues about why you think, feel and respond the way you do. Typical middle children will say, "Everything is fine," but need to be encouraged to share their real feelings.
That means you must work hard to make your spouse feel special, build up self-worth and show mutual respect.
Celebrate little and big successes … together. Telling her about an event at our home "the morning of" could result in critical wounds to my body.
I ought to have known better. When Dating tips after 1st date criticism pops into your mind, consider the consequences before you speak. If you're the firstborn, let flaws go or gently suggest how to correct them.
Part of the reason is our birth order — our place in our family of origin. Lastborns must back off from always being in the spotlight and allow the middleborn to shine.
Firstborns are well-organized list makers and leaders with lots of practice. The middle plus the baby is a pretty good match.
The most common descriptors for the birth order hierarchy are: Firstborn personalities and last born personalities. This lastborn would do whatever was necessary to connect with that firstborn — in a heartbeat!
Youngest with Middle This is one hell of a couple. Who will take out the garbage? Birth-order matchups So, how does birth order play out in your marriage, and how can you use it to strengthen your relationship? Love is a choice. Because I've learned the hard way that my wife doesn't like surprises.
Say a simple thank you instead of "improving" on what your mate says and does. You Might Also Like: Take firstborn qualities and supercharge them, and you've got the only child. Mmm … maybe pulled pork sandwiches and a fruit salad … yeah, that might work. Decide who specifically will do what, and then find ways to build in mutual accountability — lists, alarms set on cellphones, whatever.
There are two types of firstborns: Researchers agree that each level of the birth order hierarchy has unique traits. But did you know that Bill and Hilary Clinton are both firstborns? And because of that they were a classic combination of control, self-driven and natural leaders.
Helping Families Thrive™
Make sure you run everything by your "detailed" husband or wife before scheduling it. Regardless of how birth order plays out in your marriage, both of you can choose to change how you respond to and interact with each other.
So why do Sande and I see things so differently? Loving your mate means understanding how he or she views life, keeping in mind that birth order will influence that viewpoint.
Since firstborns are strong in opinion, discussing events and feelings is critical in your marriage. Oh, no, they're a mess!
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